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Am i?

Welcome to Kay Obum...
This post is really about me..
Its been a long time I published a post last, I know the Kay obum readers would be asking what is going on with me or why haven't I posted something up. It's not because I don't have a thing to say its cos I have been messed up lately.
Message's.......
Am not a perfect person i don't know about you or any other. I have been distracted by a whole lots of events going on in my life now.
Now your thinking or kind of evaluating me really a psychology student messed up! Its like saying a doctor can't cure himself.
My life is kinda not straight I have been facing emptiness and emotional rollbacks and it kinda putting me in a path that get me all screwed up. I need help I say to myself but were can I get the help from may be u can help me! Can you?
Have you really made a sense from all am saying ,! May be or may be not but I am really saying alot that seems so not sensible to you.
I need help I say again histrionic ........ Am I? Still you don't get it, now let see if you can!
Talking about my life here makes me venerable to lots of critics but i accept but still it doesn't change who i am but now I guess it does..
I have tried to forget my past and move on
Went to lots of alter call gave my life up for God still I sin.
Been 3 years n few weeks I went to cgurch , hardly pray and trust people like mad....
Hey what do I get! Hurts and more fucked up I immersed my self
Am sorry for using this harsh words.... Most importantly am sorry for myself

I don't have a male folk as a friend na na na all I have is girls n ladies all online.....
Degree exams coming up and no words of encouragement from you why! I asked that's bad you?
Some times I take selfie not because I have a front can phone but just to know how I look in your eyes!!!!!!
I smile not because I look good with smiles but just want to know if the scares will fall of.

I don't really love how I look, hey to come to me with that your preaching again save your time and get another soul not mine. I know you don't care just pretending.

I have been real in lots of people's lives n families.... Why I can't get the best in you, why sideline me and talk to me only online? So I have to buy data n charge my phones to get through to you eeh ! Am asking you?
I have done a lot just not to bore you or miss seen you online, an tired of all this your not any way better than me..... Sorry an not comparing.

I have tried so hard to forget my past but u still look at it at the shower morning noon and night, now the heat is too much the itching is back now u sleep soundly on ur comfort bed while I scratch myself to sleep that's the life u didn't choose for myself.

Words of encouragement far from you... All I hear is that same old voice saying you have wasted all my resources, you are good as dead, your o good, your a waster, I should have killed u myself, now your going to leave my house soon and you are a fool.
Hardly hear son God keeps his loved ones to live a better life and ur a survivor! And there you are thinking I go to toilet and I pass out lots o money eeh!

Now that "Lady I liked so well said you really need to fix your self before I can introduce to my family" wow am happy really you think I am? Am fucked up!!!!!.
No love in the wild ... You don't have to be ugly and broke hon.

I have filled lots of complete blank sentence personality test still awaiting my result.

Now I just want you to know that if you can be able to write to me the Good I have taught you in this life I would be happy when am gone.
And if you write me I will write back

                                                To be  continued...

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